Meet the big sister or brother
Your family has waited a long time for your new baby. But even the most well-adjusted older sibling may start to feel a little uneasy and fearful of being displaced.
To help make the introduction of your baby a joyful homecoming for all, consider these suggestions:
- Involve your child in the big day. Just before the birth, help your child select her own special gift to give to the baby at the hospital. Gently help your child choose an infant-appropriate toy. Help her wrap it and place it in your hospital bag.
When she comes to visit the new baby at the hospital, have the gift available so she can present it to the baby. Ask your child whether she would like to record lullabies or poetry to play for her new sibling. It's also a good idea to buy and wrap another gift for the new baby to "give" to your older child when they first meet to make your older child feel special too.
- Have the baby waiting in a bassinet or baby seat when your child comes into the hospital room. Greet your child happily and spend a few minutes talking just to her. Ask her how things are going at home or at school before introducing the baby. Showing undivided attention for your older child will help her feel loved and not pushed aside by the new baby.
- Spend a few minutes chatting. Then enthusiastically ask your child if she's ready to meet her brother or sister. Let her response be your hint that she’s ready.
- Let your older child have the say. If she would like to hold the new baby, help her to do that. But if she wants to exchange presents first that's fine too. Try not to pressure or insist that your older child act a certain way with the new baby.
You’re thrilled with your new addition, but remember—for your older child there are very complex changes taking place in the family. Her treasured place as the only child is now altered forever.
Let your older child express her feelings freely—especially any worries, fears, or concerns. Simply letting your child talk about her feelings and discussing them with you will be a tremendous help.
