Return to work or stay at home?
Not sure if you or your partner should stay home once your baby arrives? It’s a big decision but the following hints can help:
Start with a list
Begin the decision-making process by creating a list of the pros and cons of going back to work/staying at home. Keep the list handy so you can add to it whenever a new thought pops up. There’s something about seeing written lists that nudges rational thought along!
Questions, questions, questions
To come up with the pros and cons, start by answering the following questions individually and then as a couple. If you’re not sure who should stay home, each person should fill out the pro/con chart and then you can go over the answers together.
- How will I feel if someone else is caring for my baby?
- How will I feel if I miss a milestone, like our baby sitting up for the first time?
- What is our financial situation? What will the loss of one income mean to the family?
- What are the costs of working outside the home?
- How flexible are our jobs? If we both work, can we handle the unexpected, such as when our baby or other children get sick?
- Would I miss my career so much that I’d become miserable or resentful at home?
- How would staying home affect my career? Could I return to work after taking several years off?
- Is working part-time or even job-sharing a possibility?
Talk with other parents
Ask other parents who’ve been in your place about their experiences. They’ll not only be able to share the points they considered in their own decisions, but they can also tell you how their decisions played out.
Are we doing the right thing?
No matter what your decision ends up being, it’s natural to second-guess it. If this happens, remind yourself that you and your partner conscientiously considered what’s best for your baby and the rest of the family.
Also, remember that the decision you make doesn’t have to be permanent. One of you may decide to stay at home for a year and then resume working part-time. Or you may return to work while your baby is young and then decide to become a stay-at-home parent later.
