Baby vs. sibling: Bedtime rights
Your older child may find it hard to go to bed while the new baby can stay up. Here’s how to avoid bedtime wars with your older child:
- Explain that the baby isn’t old enough to understand the difference between night and day—or to follow a set routine. Assure your older child that as the baby grows, she will have a bedtime too.
- Establish a bedtime routine and stick with it. Remember that any time you back down, you have moved away from your goal of consistency. Habits take several weeks to establish for adults and children.
- Make sure the evening moves predictably toward bedtime. When bedtime is announced suddenly, your child will be more resistant. It may help to remind your older child periodically of the bedtime. You might say, "It’s 7 o’clock now, and you’ll be going to bed at 8." If your child is still too young to understand what time it is, tie the bedtime to a part of her routine: reading a book or taking a bath. Then talk about this during the evening: "After your bath we will read a book, and then it will be bedtime."
- Don’t give up. With a new baby it may seem easier to suspend schedules for a while, but this will only make returning to a routine harder. Your older child needs plenty of rest and the security that a bedtime routine provides.
- Don’t reward crying. Provide comfort but don’t back down on your established time.
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